Sandy wishes

I sit across from her and listen to the painful comments. I want to believe that everything that he said to me was true. That he did love me and I am pretty. She argues that it was not true, that it was just lies. That he was not mine and could never be and will never be mine. Her brutal honesty cuts me like a knife. He was the first thing that I really wanted and got. The words that he spoke to me were like a balm on my wounded soul. To think now that they were just lies is more than I can handle. I want to scream at her, why? Why could it not have been true, am I so unlovable, is it so hard to imagine that someone would think that I was pretty. But it is not her fault that I hurt, it is mine.

I wrote his name in the sand yesterday and let the ocean wash it away. It was like a tiny wish or prayer, the only problem is that I don’t really know what to wish for anymore.