An Awakening

So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can't do the little things
I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things
That I fear
(No Doubt)

I am scared of heights, terrified. But given the chance to get my feet off the ground I take it. Drop me from the sky, swing me upside down, send me hurling through space in the dark, looping around fast or slow. Any chance to push that limit, to force the fear to devour me, I take it – I relish it. If told that I can’t do something, I do it. There was a boy once that told me – “No, you can’t.” To which I queried, “Are you forbidding me”? Suddenly, there was a shift, he knows me, and understand that no makes me. I am not an extreme daredevil, but I don’t back down. I face fear, I challenge myself. Or at least I used to. This morning that girl looked at me in the mirror and called me a pussy. How did I become this? I was never this before. I was preparing to sky-dive, learn to sail, travel the world, and suddenly a man makes me cry. The girl who faced her life is awake; never again to be lazy, sad, depressed girl. I have been dormant too long.