Top Ten List

Top Ten Signs The FedEx Guy Is In Love With You

10. You schedule a pickup -- he shows up and says you have lovely eyes
9. Offers to take you out to dinner and have you home before 10am the next business day
8. He's named his handcart after you
7. Tells you you look like you've lost a couple ounces
6. He had your tracking number tattooed above his heart
5. Badgers you to take a romantic getaway to the FedEx central processing plant in Memphis, Tennessee
4. Notice on door reads "Delivery attempted at 2:30, 2:34, 2:38, 2:42..."
3. Goes through roll of bubble wrap saying, "She loves me, she loves me not"
2. Mailman hands you an envelope, FedEx guy jumps out of bushes, shouting, "You slut!"
1. Claims to have a special "package" for you, but he's not holding a box
(David Letterman - 2002)