A prayer for lost love....

The dreams are coming again, not the dreams of sex and lust, but the nightmares. I wake in the morning sad and drained. I want to explain to him how I feel. But I have exposed myself over and over, turning myself inside out for inspection. I wanted to be the person that protected his heart from pain and hurt, to keep him safe from the world. That is not what he wanted, so instead I pray that he is happy. Though he assigns feelings of anger and vindication to me those are not my true feelings. My love is as deep and pure as the first moment. Because of this love, I want him to find love, to find someone that makes him as happy as he made me. It is a bittersweet feeling, like childhood memories of the beach. I will always have my memories of times when I was blissfully happy with him, that is a gift that he gave me. I just wish that I could stop the dreams.