A slightly fractured fairy tale

The stadium is engorged with the euphoric citizens of a peaceful nation. They wait with breathless anticipation for a pending royal proclamation. Suddenly the trumpets blare, and the flags are unfurled, snapping tightly in the wind. Everyone jumps to their feet craning to see their beloved Princess Beta. She has been suffering a lingering malaise that has kept her a bed for many months. She alights from her carriage and begins her trek to the podium. She is as ever, breathtaking to behold, groomed to perfection, except for her crown which is tossed slightly askew upon her head. It appears as if she only realized, or was perhaps reminded, of her royal heritage as she rushed out the door. She glides up to the podium and waits patiently for her faithful legions to regain their composure. She adjusts her crown and gently straightens the folds of her skirt. With a tap of her Choos she steps up to the microphone and the crowd falls hush. “Amori del mio cuore, thank you for your patience with me these last long months. I have been awakened from my malaise by a kiss, um; I mean rather a kick to my royal posterior, actually several such kicks. Since I have been assured by my attorneys,” She pauses for a moment to glance at two rather portly and pale suit-clad gentlemen. They both nod at her vehemently. With a sigh she continues, “Since they have assured me that I have no grounds for a legal action, I have decided to take it as a sign. After a bit of silent contemplation,” Suddenly someone from the crowd yells, “Ah, that is why she has such a rosy glow.” Several citizens around him giggle. Princess Beta glances up at him with a mischievous smile and a slight nod. Quickly she continues, “I wanted to assure you, my beloveds, that I am feeling wonderful and am completely cured. So again thank you for your love and patience during these many months.” Silently she steps back away from the podium with a regal wave. Suddenly she leans forward again, “Oh, one other thing, if any of you know of any single sexy soldiers, send them to the castle.” With that she steps into her carriage, with a wink and a sly smile to one of the sexier trumpeters, she is off to the ball.