The Measure of a Relationship
My friends insist that I go with them to single events. Not because I need to get out and meet people, but rather, it is their own desire to get out and meet people. They take me along for companionship, just in case the event and/or people attending fail to meet their expectations. Thus the reason that I find myself sitting on a couch in a crowd bar with a martini in hand.
A guy spots me and begins his initial approach. I find it much easier to be chatty with guys now that I have no interest in relationships. Perhaps this is unfair, maybe it causes false hope. I don't really concern myself with such matters. I view each of these new encounters as practice flirting or little victories over the mouse inside me.
During the course of our conversation, it comes out that he learned to speak French from a Belgian girl that he once dated. He talks to me for a moment in French, and the southern girl in me instantly wants to send her a thank you card. She has taught him something that all women will benefit from. I begin to wonder what I have taught my exs. I can't really think of anything. Perhaps a desire to read more, or the knowledge that tennis shoes are meant only for the gym. I want to call and ask each of them. I fear that I failed to do my part to improve them for the next female. Did they learn some sort of interesting tongue or hand position? The art of lubricant? How to cook a romantic dinner? Something that improved them? I guess I will never know.
Then I think about what each of them taught me. One taught me a love of the gym, a dedication to health that I had forgotten but pain has reminded me of. He also taught me of another culture, a love of their food and a couple of endearments in another language. Another taught me to love science fiction. How to make a stir fry and the words to every Billy Joel song. Just little things that have altered the person that I am. Perhaps that is the measure of a relationship, not just a sexual one but all relationships, how much you learn from the other person.
posted by Beta Fishy @ 12:15 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I fear that I failed to do my part to improve them for the next female
gosh if I would have known that was part of the job I would have tried to teach them less new sexual positions. LMAO. ;)
I can't really say I've gotten anything from my exes. I am one of those people that already likes way too many things. lol :)
Mailyn,
Where have you sent all your exs? LOL!
Don't get me wrong, I have strong opinions on what I like and don't like. I just think that they all offer something new.
Ooooh La La, he spoke French in his attempt to seduce you!
Speaking of frenching ;)
I've taught more than one
ex how to be a Way Better Kisser.
But on that: I'd have to send your Southern Girl Thank You note out to one hot latino for teaching me so well my 1st time around....
Better kissers. That is a must. I hope I taught a few of mine some good tricks with their hands.
Lucky you, good teachers - especially the first time - are hard to come by.
Ah - you have those sort of exs. I understand completely. You really should have taught them less. ; )
I'm still in the process of teaching my ex how to be human. It's an ongoing project I'll be working on for the rest of my life.
I'll have to think about what I've learned from ex's in the past. I can't think of anything good at the moment, but I'm sure there's something....right?
God, don't you hope so? It took me sometime to figure it out myself.
Good luck on building a human, it sounds like a tough project.
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