3:00 A.M.

It is three in the morning, I toss and turn. It appears that sleep is evading me once again. I can't seem to turn off my weary mind. I continue to think of lost love, lost chances, and regret. I wonder what I did wrong. What I could have changed. Gently in the background The Cars play, I turned them on to help rock me to sleep, but it is not helping. The beat of every song, I change into another song, a sadder song. I sigh and stare at the wall, watching the lights from cars passing by. I wonder where he is, if he is sleeping and if he is sleeping alone. It hurts more. I pull the blanket between my legs and hug it close. In my mind it becomes his body. I press my knees against his leg. I wrap my arms around his arm, and press the tip of my nose to his shoulder. I can still smell him, that clean warm smell. I think that maybe I should give into the fantasy, I should allow this safe feeling to linger. I give myself to this false feeling and slow I drift off to dreams of him. I will deal with the reality tomorrow.