A meeting....

It is rainy and gray outside, I dream of being home, in bed, wrapped in his arms. I want to smell the warm scents of sex and sleep on his skin. I move through my days a stranger to my own life, lost in the memories of a love that has ended. I close my heart to him, sealing all the windows and doors, but he enters again through small fissures and cracks that only he is aware of. He lived in my heart for so long he has it memorized. There is nothing that I can do to shield myself from him. Sitting across from him looking into his eyes I am again lost. I wonder why I came, knowing that there is no way that I could not come. No way that I could reject his invitation, not again, I needed to see him, I needed to assure myself that he was as I remembered. I feel shy and exposed as he approaches the table and the dance begins. We both know that it will reach an inevitable conclusion. Understanding that everything is different and nothing is different.