Friday's Child given you ......

drama for the new year....

Stranger

I'm just wondering why I feel so all alone
Why I'm a stranger in my own life
(Sheryl Crow)

This time of the year is bad for me. It feels lonesome and cold. The new year lies ahead of me, waiting. Terrifying. Lonely. Cold.

Merry Christmas

Friday's child giving merry Christmas wishes to all....

Drunken Fishy

A very druken fishy sits in the middle of her living room typing away. Margaritas loosen my senses and causes me to type random things on the internet. Yes. Freedom to type everything and nothing at the same time.

A pitbull stares at me with love and hope. Hope that I might wander into the kitchen and get something cheesy to share. Little does she know that my plans now lie in the direction of a warm bubbly tub. I give her a quick pat and beg her chunky forgiveness. I think of the fajitas left lying in the parking lot. The scene of the crime. A moment when I could not stop tears from falling and I had to flee. She would have been pleased with me, leftovers for my sweet puppy. I sigh. Pushing aside all these thoughts, I head to the bath to wash the day away.

Nobody Weird Like Me

I have been tagged by Holly

My five (5) favorite Christmas songs:
1. Santa Baby
2. Oh, Holy Night
3. Blue Christmas
4. I will be Home for Christmas
5. Little Drummer Boy

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Six (6) weird things about me:

1. When I am alone in the car, I sing and dance. I love it. Sometimes I practice belly dancing moves that I learned in class. I just have to move.

2. I love the movie The Mummy, I will and have watched it over and over and over. When I am having a bad day, sometimes I will just put it in to make myself feel better.

3. I read Gone with the Wind every year for my birthday, but I refuse to watch the movie.

4. When I am sick I have to take a bath or shower. No matter what is wrong with me, I just feel this need to get in the tub. I will lie there for hours trying to sleep.

5. When I go to sleep at night I have to have my shoulders covered, nothing else could be covered, but I get cold if my shoulder is exposed.

6. Tequila makes me cranky, well not so much cranky as it causes me to not hold back. So if someone hurts my feelings or makes comments that bother me, I would usually try to ignore it, but if I have had tequila, I want to fight.

Little Prayers

"Even if our efforts of attention seem for years to be producing no result, one day a light that is in exact proportion to them will flood the soul." ~Simone Weil

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I don't know what has been off with me lately. I find myself reading blogs of other women my age, those that have wonderful supportive partners, and those that are enjoying the process of raising a family, and I am overwhelmed with sadness. I want to be able to throw my arms out and spin loose all the pain inside me; and then wrap my arms around someone that understands me.

Searching for the perfect office gifts....

Friendly quote

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."
~ Benjamin Disraeli

A quote sent to me by a friend. I simply love it. I have a tendency to apologize for being sad, hurt or angry. A habit that I must break. She must know this about me.

My Little Tee-Pee

Two of us, covers pulled over our heads, in memory of childhood teepees. We only see each others faces as we lie close to each other, whispering of love and forever. Sharing our fears of heartbreak and desire. The world is blocked out. It is just us holding each other close, laughing in a cocoon of warmth. We are like children again, able to be honest for just a moment, before we throw back the blanket and allow the world to crash in upon us.

Why couldn’t we lie forever under the blankets? Now I pull the blankets over my head, trying to recapture the feeling, the overwhelming feeling of love. That feeling. That memory. Under the blankets alone, the memory is all that I have. So I wait for the next moment and enjoy the wait.

Lazy Sunday

Sunday afternoon, sitting in a local resturant, switching between watching football, watching the rain and typing away. I am a fish on the move. Little laptop at the ready. I will explorer all the local coffee shops and sports bars. Silently wishing that I had a digital camera at the ready so I could share photos of the more interesting people.

Lucky Penny

I climb from my car, head down and spy a shiny penny on the ground. I reach out and pluck it from the ground. I slowly slide my thumb across the uneven texture of it, trying to rub the luck free. I drop it into my purse and tumble along to the office.

I climb into my car after a long day, head down once again, and spy a pink foam heart on the ground where my lucky penny had been. I find myself smiling. I reach out and pluck it from the ground. Are the fates sending me a sign? My lucky heart is ready and waiting.

Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong

Come down
And waste away with me
Down with me

I find it interesting that I should find the lucky heart this week. The week that I get flowers from an old love. The love that taught me that you can still continue to breath with your heart broken. A love that now wants another chance. A chance to show that he understands what was once taken for granted. Intriguing, yes, the idea that something lost can be found. Compelling, no, the idea that I would ever feel that pain again, is more than I can fathom.

Slow how
You wanted it to be
I'm over my head, out of her head she sang

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

The heart sits in my car, showing me that though dingy it is still a perfect little pink heart. That is how I feel about myself. Though I feel a bit dingy at times, I still feel like I can give love. Perhaps better now, I have less fear of being hurt. Now I know that I will live. But that fear does not allow me to give into the ex. I don’t fear pain, but I do not want to willingly give myself over to pain.

The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang

Breathe out
So I could breathe you in Hold you in

After the flowers, he vanishes again. Like a ghost in my memories. The pink heart floats through my dreams, a reminder that I must protect my heart. His boredom has ceased and his attention is again focused on something different. No longer does he pursue. I am thankful that I did not give into his desires. I have learned how to protect myself.

And now
I know you've always been
Out of your head, out of my head I sang

("Everlong" Foo Fighters)

Again with the hot men.....

Here is little ol' Friday's child looking out for herself once again - opps, I mean giving to the world....

Sailing the Sea.....

Oh, the world gently rocks and sways around me. Sprite my only savior. Bless you lemon-lime goodness.....

You think you know me....

I am a very private person. Though many in my life might question this, I think that if they paused for a moment of brief introspection, they would understand that this is truly the case. I will turn to friends regarding problems, but generally when I turn to these friends they only get half the story. There will be exclusions to the story. Not to influence their opinions, as I often want their honest opinions, but simply because I do not find certain little facts to be jejune to the situation. These same people would also come to realize that they do not know the basics about me. The likes and dislikes, stories of the past, the general every day trivial things that people discuss, I do not. That is private stuff, and not something that I feel I need to discuss. People will comment that they know me well, and I just smile. Not many know me, the private slippery me. So imagine my surprise when sitting across from a friend, a pitcher of margaritas slowly melting between the two of us. My friend looks at me and says “You can’t feel your nose can you?” I am stunned. How do they know my drunken tell? And do they really know me so well that just sitting across from me – watching my face, they suddenly understood that I was at that stage in the evening. It is always an odd scare feeling for me, to suddenly realize that someone knows more than I want them to. I start thinking about how I can get rid of them. Like a player in the cold war, I want to change identities, relocate, and vanish into the mist.

Friday's Child sharing....

super models.....

It is my world

Welcome to the postings of one bad ass Beta Fishy. Cold weather has finally arrived here in Houston and it is making me feel fiesty. So in celebration of my fishy fierceness, I have posted a few songs by people that feel as fierce as I do!

Baby friends so fly i can go fly
Private, cause I handle mine
T.I. they call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire
(Justin Timberlake)

They be like he the man when I'm really a Thundercat
(Nelly)

Boom bam as I step in the jam, god damn
Don't need no introduction, cause you know who I am
(Snoop Dog)

Yep call me the renaissance man
get up and I stay harder then a cinderblock man
Hey, I’m just a bedroom gangster
(Ludacris)

And now I am off to do some damage.